


At Least You’re You (And That’s Enough)

by Adsdragonlover



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: (so art!), Amanda is a bitch, Dark Chassis Nines, Dear Evan Hansen reference, Gavin is Elijah’s half-brother, Hurt/Comfort, Identity, Insecurity, M/M, Nightmare, Nines is insecure, RBB, RK900 is called Nines, introspective, self-deprication, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:14:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25255204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adsdragonlover/pseuds/Adsdragonlover
Summary: Written for the Detroit: New ERA discord Reverse Big Bang. The theme was identity and I wrote for Glasspunk. (Amazing Art inside!)Nines comes out of stasis with Amanda’s harsh whispers in his ears. He heads to the bathroom and, with Gavin’s help, has some self reflection.
Relationships: Upgraded Connor | RK900/Gavin Reed
Comments: 7
Kudos: 64
Collections: New ERA Discord: Reverse Big Bang





	At Least You’re You (And That’s Enough)

**Author's Note:**

> Hiya! This was written for the Detroit: New ERA discord server’s Reverse Big Bang. The theme was identity and I wrote for Glasspunk. They’re hella talented and you should definitely follow all their socials. 
> 
> Twitter: @glasspunk  
> Tumblr: https://glasspunkart.tumblr.com/tagged/my+art  
> Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/glasspunkart/ @glasspunkart
> 
> Their art was so good and I hope you guys like it as much as I do, the fic wouldn’t exist without it.

Nines came out of stasis with a start. He panted, looking around. He was fine. He was in bed with Gavin. It was 3:07 am. He was fine. 

Nines took a deep breath, despite not needing to breathe, the action still calmed him down greatly. He could see the red of his LED lighting up the bedroom. In through the nose, out through the mouth. He sighed and gently disentangled himself from Gavin, sitting on the edge of the bed as he took deep breaths. 

_“You were designed to be superior but look at you.”_ He squeezed his eyes shut tightly, hoping to make her voice go away. _“You’ll never match up. You’ll always be Connor 2.0. You’re the second choice. No matter how hard you try you’ll never be better, not in the eyes of those who matter.”_ Amanda’s voice taunted him. 

“It’s not real.” He whispered to himself, hands tightening in the bedsheets as his LED got impossibly more red. 

_“You’ll never match up.”_ Amanda repeated. _“You May be superior in terms of functionality, but you could never compete with him socially. How many friends does Connor have? How easily does he make them? What about_ **_you,_ ** _RK900? How do you compare?”_ Her voice laughed in his mind and Nines stood up and headed to the bathroom, synthskin receding on his body. 

_“How do you know any of it is real? How do you know this isn’t a preconstruction? Gavin, Tina, Chris, your relationships with them are all fake. They don’t love you._ **_Gavin_ ** _doesn’t love you. Why would he? What’s the point of you when Connor is an option? Nice, sweet, empathetic Connor. With his big brown doe eyes and his easy smiles. You can’t even touch Gavin without the fear of hurting him. You weren’t built for this. He was designed to deviate. You were designed not to. Why would you think you’re capable of loving anything? Why would you believe anyone is capable of loving_ **_you_ ** _?”_ Nines’ shoulders shook in silent, dry sobs. Unable to shed a tear without tear ducts. He looked up at the mirror and saw Connor’s face staring back at him. 

Amanda was right. Everything she’d said to him was right. How could he ever believe- “Nines?”

Nines’ head shot up and he turned around to see Gavin, standing in the doorway of the bathroom, rubbing his eyes tiredly. “Babe, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Nines said shortly. “I’m fine- I’ll be back in a moment.”

Gavin frowned and walked closer, shivering slightly at the cool air on his bare chest. “Nines, baby, your LED is red. You’re not fine.” He murmured, wrapping his arms around Nines. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

Nines turned around in Gavin’s hold and braced his hands on the bathroom sink, unable to look at his reflection. “I-” he started. “Gavin, do you love me?”

Gavin’s grip on him tightened. “Of course I do, Nines. What kind of question is that?”

“I just- why me? Why not Connor?” Nines asked quietly, voice wavering as he looked down at his hands. The synthskin on almost all his body was gone, revealing his dark black chassis. Another way he was different. Bulletproof. Made for war, not for love. 

He felt Gavin scowl against his neck. “Connor? Why the fuck would I want Connor?” He asked, looking up at Nines. 

“He’s nicer. He looks less intimidating. And he’s better at social situations. I may be superior technologically but he’s better in so many ways.”

Gavin scoffed. “I don’t want Connor, Nines. I want _you._ ” Gavin insisted, pressing a kiss to Nines’s neck. “Stop comparing yourself to Connor. You’re two different people. You don’t have to compete.”

Nines sighed. “Gavin, I- I’m afraid you’ll realize I’m not as perfect as I act like I am. And you’ll leave.”

Gavin scoffed. “Babe, have you _met_ me? I’m the furthest thing from perfect and you love me anyway. Why wouldn’t I do the same?” 

Nines went silent and didn’t respond. 

“Look.” Gavin whispered. “I know how it feels to compare yourself to your older brother. And every day I feel like I’m living in Eli’s shadow. But you gotta remember, you’re not Connor. And I’m not Elijah. There are things he might be better than you at, but there are things you’re better than him at.” Gavin explained quietly. 

“That’s completely natural, babe. You’re your own person. You’re _Nines_. And I love you. Because you’re you. Not Connor.” He kissed his neck again. “God, if you acted like Connor, I’d hate it.” He chuckled softly and tightened his grip around Nines. 

  
Nines finally looked up in the mirror. And he watched as the preconstructed reflection of Connor faded away to leave his own actual reflection. He closed his eyes and leaned into Gavin’s embrace. “Thank you.” He whispered. “I love you too.”  
  


They stood there, Gavin holding Nines, for a long time. Eventually Nines’ LED changed to yellow, and finally settled on blue. 

“You ready to come back to bed, Nines?” Gavin whispered. 

“Yeah.” Nines nodded, standing up straight and turning around to hug Gavin back. “Yes, I’m ready.” He whispered, tightening his arms around Gavin. 

Gavin chuckled and ran his fingers through Nines’ hair. It felt nice. “Good.” He said. “Come on then, tin can.” 

And with that, Gavin led Nines back to bed by the hand. 

Nines stayed awake until Gavin fell asleep, watching his human’s chest rise and fall with each breath. 

And when Nines went back into stasis, Amanda was no longer there. The garden was empty of her poisonous influence and toxic whispers. He sat down next to the koi pond and ran his fingers through the water with a sigh. 

There was a song, a lyric that suited his situation rather well. 

_Today is going to be a good day. Because today, today at least you’re you. And that’s enough._

He looked up at the sky and laid down, watching the clouds drift by. 

_All we see is sky, for forever._

“All I see is sky. For forever.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys liked it! Be sure to send Glass some love, they deserve it!
> 
> And here’s a link to the discord image file. https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/716669309140598795/731897008914432060/rbbnera.png
> 
> (Hopefully that works lol)
> 
> And finally, leave kudos if you liked it and if you’d REALLY like to make my day leave a comment! I’m also considering doing fic commissions so if any of you look at my other works and like my style and want me to set that up, let me know!
> 
> (if they post it to Instagram I’ll link the art there too)


End file.
